Your 2(e) Homeschool Student Is More Than Exceptional, They Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
We have learned a lot over the past several weeks together. From the importance of believing in oneself to modifying curricula to fit your needs, how and why you should educate yourself about your child’s learning challenges, preparing instead of planning, letting your child lead you, the power of play, asking for help, valuing relationships above all else, finding comfort in community and the importance of self-care.
I am thankful to have you in my homeschool village and as a traveling companion for my family’s journey.
Today, in our final post, we find comfort in our identity in Christ.
Hurrying Hamsters
Just a few more math problems, just a few more pages in the book, or just a more few lines of copy work.
Ticking off boxes on our imaginary “to-do” list can be quite gratifying.
We all like the feeling of accomplishment. It’s reinforcing. Our reward for hard work.
But it also has a dark side.
If not held in check, it can create a vicious cycle of pedaling harder, running faster, and doing more in the never-ending hamster wheel race of life.
Soon, “more” becomes never enough.
Where does this obsessive need to “overdo” come from?
Fear.
Plain and simple.
Fear of failure. Of never doing enough. Of never being enough.
Remember Your “Why”
Remember the “imposter syndrome” we talked about in the previous blog post?
This is what it looks like.
If you have an anxious personality like mine, the battle to keep this urge in check is ongoing.
So you know what I do when I find myself falling back into unhealthy habits?
I remember my “why.”
Why do I homeschool?
Many of these I state in the first vlog post from this series:
Do you know your why?
Take a minute to really think about it.
Now write it down.
Post it somewhere you frequently walk by during the day like the bathroom mirror. When you see it, recite it out loud to yourself. Imprint it on your brain and write it on your heart.
Jesus, Take The Wheel
No one is going to try harder with my child than I do because no one is going to love my child more than I do.
And of all the subjects I teach my child, none is more important than the Word of God.
God has called me to homeschool my son. If He has called me to do it, He will see me through it with His strength. (Thank you, Jodie Ellis of S.E.R.V.E. Homeschool Outreach. I repeat your words of wisdom more than you know, my dear friend.)
For the days when self-doubt and fear creep in, I endeavor to remember that WHOSE I am is far more important than who I am or what I have yet to learn or teach my child.
Trusting in God rather than myself, helps me step away from the endless need to know more, do more, and be more.
I hand my hamster wheel over to Jesus and remember WHOSE I am.
Know Thyself
Identity is important.
In a nutshell, our identity includes our values and our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.
It helps us understand not only ourselves but others, as well as ourselves in relation to others.
Identity is a deeply personal experience that one grows in throughout his or her lifespan. As we mature, so does our sense of self.
In this maturation process, we are bombarded with messages from the outside world about how and what to think, feel, and believe. These outside messages often shift in popularity based on the current dominant culture’s views. The pendulum swings and society’s views swing right along with it.
It has been so since the beginning of time.
But you know what else has been around that long but hasn’t changed?
God’s word.
Our Identity in Christ
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”
John 15:16
The comparison trap is real and easy to fall into. We hear someone touting the merits of this wonderful curriculum or this homeschool method and we begin to doubt our choices.
We see someone on social media or YouTube share a post or video of their beautiful homeschool room or Pinterest-perfect project and we feel we are somehow falling short.
So there they are, the two four-letter words that make us all cringe.
Feel and fear.
Feelings are necessary. Good, bad, ugly, or beautiful, they have a purpose.
And we should acknowledge their purpose, without allowing them to take power.
“Feelings are indicators, not dictators.”
Lysa Terkeurst
Feelings, both wonderful and awful alike, are fleeting. Like the old adage about the weather, if you don’t like them, wait.
Acknowledging them is wise. Understanding them? Absolutely! Acting on them? Not so much.
Feelings will convince you that you have lost the race before you entered the competition, that you are a terrible homeschool parent on a rough lesson day, or that you can handle all things big or small on your own without your Creator.
Acting on big feelings without first recognizing them, second, pausing to give yourself time to experience and examine them before, third, consulting the Father, and then, fourth, choosing your response is a recipe for disaster.
Press Pause
When BIG feelings arise, take time to sit with them for five minutes.
No literally, set a timer on your phone. Close your eyes, just breathe, and Take 5.
Inhale, slowly, to the count of 5 seconds. Hold for 5 seconds. Then, exhale slowly to the count of 5 seconds. Do this 5 times.
After your timeout, your problem will still be there. However, the urgency to give a knee-jerk reaction will have subsided. And in the calm of your POWERFUL PAUSE, you can go to God’s word for wisdom.
Pray. Ask for guidance. Seek counsel from a friend in faith or clergy.
With your emotional brain subdued, your rational brain (fueled by faith) can take over and help you form options. Options you can choose from to give you a more desired outcome.
Knowing WHOSE you are guides your thoughts, your words, and your actions. It is both your filter and your safety net when the enemy strikes.
In the video below, I share our family’s experience:
Looking Ahead
I hope you have enjoyed this blog series. More than gaining knowledge, I hope you have felt comforted. You know what you are doing. I hope you learn to trust yourself.
You do not have to feel alone. There is a HUGE network of homeschool families who have gone before you and who are willing to walk alongside you on this journey.
Let’s Keep In Touch
Have a heart for service and love podcasts? Check out our It’s Only Homeschooling Podcast presents the Salt & Light SERVE Spotlight. Each month we feature a different community outreach program. We hope to bring awareness to the good works of these amazing organizations and encourage support.
You can listen to podcast episodes on YouTube, Podbean, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Samsung, PlayerFM, or right here on our website.
Are you a homeschool parent looking for encouragement from other homeschool parents in the trenches? Then check out our latest podcast series, Shelf-Indulgence Book Chats. In this series, we chat with some amazing authors who also happen to be homeschool moms of faith.
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Blessings,
Kimberly
IOH Mom
This website is not a professional counseling website and nothing here should be construed as professional counseling advice. Although Kimberly Bennett, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor, she is not your counselor, and no counselor-client relationship is established unless she has signed an agreement with you. All information provided through this website is for informational and educational purposes only. This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure statement. Thanks for visiting!
