Tame Holiday Tantrums With the Power of the Pause
The holidays are an exciting time.
Whether you travel to visit loved ones, host family in your home, or celebrate with a small party like our “triangle” family, great care goes into making the days together special.
Long before little hands frantically rip open neatly wrapped packages, parents have been planning and preparing behind the scenes to help make the day magical. Bleary-eyed, with coffee mugs in hand and touseled tresses, parents watch the excitement from the sidelines. Shouts of glee fill the room as coveted items are procured.
Gradually, the sounds of rustling of paper dwindles and the volume of voices begins to lower as children retreat to their respective corners to further explore their new treasures. At some point, breakfast is served.
All seems to be going well.
And then.
It happens.
One child has touched, breathed on, taken, or worst-case scenario, broken, another child’s brand-new whatever. Or, a fight ensues over whose turn it is to play with a new game, toy, or newly acquired treasure.
Or perhaps one child in a moment of envy, longs for something another child has. Call it the comparison trap, the fear of missing out, or simply good old-fashioned sibling rivalry, the peace has been broken and chaos has made a house call.
My Experience
Believe me, I have been there. Years before my husband and I became parents, I watched this sort of scenario unfold every holiday season. Once our son was born, sandwiched right in the middle of two doorstep-aged cousins mind you, I watched history repeat itself.
I could almost set my watch by it.
Sugar-filled diets fueled by days spent baking (and sampling) delicious treats before the main event. Adults who had stayed up late the night before to set the scene. Kids who had stayed up far past bedtimes in anxious anticipation of the coming day’s events.
Exhaustion + expectation + excess = explosion.
From Rockwell to Griswold
When your holiday gathering suddenly shifts from Norman Rockwell to Clark Griswold, don’t panic. If you find yourself on the precipice of losing your peace, don’t lose hope. I have a simple tool that can help you tame your children’s tantrums (and your own).
Press Pause
It is during these occasions when I can feel myself morphing into not the best version of myself, that I have to remember to pause. To fling myself free of the ever-revolving merry-go-round of to-do lists, events, and expectations.
When I cannot control the chaos around me, I make a concerted effort to control the chaos within me.
How do I accomplish this?
By remembering my P.L.A.C.E.
Practice Helps Make Imperfect Progress
Pausing helps me in the moment. A tool for my toolbox to help me regulate my emotions instead of letting my emotions rule me.
Practicing the Power of the Pause in front of my child helps me model for him an invaluable life skill. Emotional regulation skills bolster self-esteem and foster healthy relationships.
Confession time: There have been times when I have been caught up in my feelings and forgotten to use this tool. Guess who reminded me to use this tool from my toolbox?
My son.
With loving kindness and grace, he grabbed his little pause button (yes, we have one with a recording of his voice saying “pause” ever so softly) and gently placed it in my hands. That was all the reminder I needed.
So this holiday season, when you need to tame the tantrum monster, remember to take a time out.
Just breathe.
And pause.
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Blessings,
Kimberly
IOH Mom
This website is not a professional counseling website and nothing here should be construed as professional counseling advice. Although Kimberly Bennett, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor, she is not your counselor, and no counselor-client relationship is established unless she has signed an agreement with you. All information provided through this website is for informational and educational purposes only. This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure statement. Thanks for visiting!
Great tips for the approaching holidays.